Working It

MommaStuff Question #4:What adjustments did you make in your life to fit the role of a mother? Can you share some tips to make your tasks easier?

Here’s My Answer:

Motherhood, or parenting for that matter, is an ever evolving thing. There really aren’t any books or advice or solid preparation that will totally prepare any woman for this challenge – I’ve been a mom for almost five years and I’m still grasping at straws.

Anyway, here are some of the things I’ve learned over the years. They’re not fool-proof but they help somewhat. :)

1. Keep Fit.
Mommyhood is a very demanding 24/7 thing. Bawal magkasakit! Like an olympian, you are expected to do everything faster, higher, stronger – at least where you kid/s is/are concerned. I know I’m a bit remiss in this but, having a healthy body gives you the physical and mental stamina to make it through a challenging day.

2. Patience is a Virtue.
There’s no off switch where dependence, inquisitiveness, crankiness, and stubborness are concerned. If you know how to count up to one billion, learn to make it a trillion.

3. Have A Sense of Humor
I used to be pretty stuck up. Well, not anymore! It’s easier to share a bond with your kid if you view his/her world through your child’s eyes. Messy house? Permanent scribbles on walls? Cookie dough all over the kitchen floor? You can easily clean those up but you can’t beat the fun that was etched in your child’s memories forever. Besides, would you like your child to remember you for all eternity as the “mommy na laging kunot ang noo”?

4. Prioritize
The biggest prioritization that happened in my life was when I chose to become a SAHM. Once I decided that I would be one, I just rolled with it completely without any regrets. Now, everyday, I take my priorities one step further – by going into the details: play with Ninna today, do the laundry tomorrow. Blog today, give Ninna a bath tomorrow. That sort of thing, hehe. The sense of structure and organization affords sanity. Promise.

5. Practice Makes Perfect.
It helps when you do something over and over again, until it becomes second nature to you. Cooking Ninna’s favorite adobo has become so second nature to me, for instance, that I don’t stress about it as much as I did once before. Same with giving her a bath, clipping her toenails, teaching her how to clean up, or read, or dance. Routine rocks!

6. You are not Superwoman.
No matter how much you convince yourself, you can not do everything. You will make mistakes. You will not be able to catch your child’s every dapa or prevent each and every bukol. You will get tired, and annoyed, and PMS-y. But you don’t have to be so hard on yourself as long as you know that you did your very best. Communicate with your husband, your friends, your family. You won’t be less of a mom if you should show your weaknesses – after all, we’re only human.

7. Pray
Amen.

MrsWorkingGirl :: Aug.14.2008 :: MommaStuffQs :: 1 Comment »

MommaStuff Question #4:Can you share any budget or money saving tips that you find effective?

Here’s My Answer:

Budget? Ano yun?

Kidding. :D

The one big tip that I could probably give everyone about budgeting is: let the more responsible spouse handle your expenses! Seriously.

I actually wrote about my and hubby’s financial set-up on a previous WifeSpeaks discussion about Money Matters. Should you revisit this entry, you’ll get a better understanding of where I’m coming from.

Aside from that another tip that I can share is: do not spend more than you can afford!

Most people overestimate the allowable amount they think their family can spend in, say, a month. You could easily track your family’s spending by monitoring your expenses. Some people use an excel file, some depend on their credit card statements or bills, some people keep receipts, some people just pay in cash. Whatever works for you, but just monitor that spending!

Another one is: save save save!

Set aside a certain amount for your savings and consider that as part of your “fixed expenses” when drawing up your budget, much like your groceries, utilities, etc. Savings shouldn’t be “what’s left of the budget” because if that’s your prinsipyo, most of the time nothing gets left from the budget so most of the time you save nothing.

If you’re having trouble sticking to a savings goal, get a high-yield time deposit account from any bank. Most banks have savings products that will allow you to automatically transfer money from another account to that savings account, and then would only allow you one or two withdrawals every month, with a penalty if you do withdraw more than what’s allowed. This way, your money gets transfered and saved even if you “forget” to do so on your own, but at the same time be able to give you that peace of mind that you will be able to make special withdrawals for emergency purposes from a funded source. And emergency doesn’t mean that the newest LV line just arrived at your local LV boutique, ok?

Lastly, be flexible.

As long as you have your financial goals within sight, don’t stress out about money too much. Be reasonable, be practical, and give yourself a pat on the back by enjoying the fruits of your earnings once in a while. Seeing your money working for you will give you more motivation to save. Pramis. :)

As for my family, we do have a budget and some parts of it are flexible. We first set aside a certain amount to pay off our kautangan and utilities – that’s non-negotiable. After all, these amounts are pretty much pre-determined and fixed so we already know how much we need to shell out each and every time. We also have investments in real estate, the money market, and for retirement, as well as keep some liquid savings for the rainy days. We’re pretty thankful that my hubby’s company pays for our rent and car rental expenses so that’s pretty much out of our hair right now.

Then, the flexible part: we do grocery shopping twice a month and we are careful not to spend more than a particular amount each time, although sometimes we just can’t help ourselves with that nice pair of jeans at Costco, haha! Because our family loves to travel, there are some weeks when our gas, dining out, or shopping expenses is higher than other weeks, we just balance it out from other weeks when we’re just home-bound and chilling. What’s left of it is used to advance pay our other utangs (dami utang dito sa Amerika!), for date nights, and for toys r’ us (or bestbuy or outlet) expeditions, haha!

Of course, I’m pretty happy with the set-up since I’m not the one primarily handling the accounts. If you do ask my hubby about this, give him an Advil first. :D

MrsWorkingGirl :: May.21.2008 :: MommaStuffQs :: 2 Comments »

Since I had a really great time joining Nice’s MommaStuffQs last week, I’d like to join her again this week.

For this round, her question is: What are the names of your kids? Who picked them? Any significance of that name/s?

Here’s My Answer:

Ninna’s real name is a kindergarten student’s nightmare, or so I’ve been told, haha! I actually didn’t care when I (yes I, alone, and only. I’m taking the brunt for this one.) was choosing a name for her because Alianna Maria Julia sounded really good to me at that time, hehe.

Alianna is a combination of Allan and Mia [AL-IA]. We just threw -NA in there to make her name sound more classic.

Maria is in honor of Mama Mary.

Julia is in honor of my paternal grandmother Julia, because it has been a tradition in my family to name a child after a well-respected, beloved, older relative, and also to keep the memory of that person alive for future generations via her namesake. It was a good thing my lola’s name wasn’t something so old-fashioned like Procopia, Purification, Anunciation, or (heaven-forbid) Circumsicion. Or else I’m sure I wouldn’t hear the end of it from Sion, eheste, Ninna, hehe.

I can actually even remember WHEN I (yes I, alone, and only) came up with her name (hubby was overseas at that time so he didn’t have a lot of input into my thought process), it was the 21st of August. So now, you also know why Ninna is Ninna’s nickname!

(By the way, until now, my mom believes that Ninna’s nickname was “patterned” after her name [my mom's name is Nenita] and I haven’t disillusioned her of that idea – yet, hehe!)

Hopefully, someday, Ninna will go back to this blog entry and get a deep understanding and appreciation for the special reasons why we chose that name for her – and why she should look past her possibly pasmadong writing hand and forgive me, hehe.

MrsWorkingGirl :: May.15.2008 :: MommaStuffQs :: 6 Comments »

Nice came up with this idea to invite moms to answer and share their thoughts on various issues about mommyhood. I’d like to join in and share my thoughts, too. :)

For this round, her question is: Do you have routines for your kids? Care to share? Does it really help?

Here’s My Answer:

Yes, we do have a routine. How could I afford not to? Hehe! Having a routine not only gives Ninna some kind of structure in her life, but it also helps keep my sanity intact. Routines also foster discipline in kids. By giving them a list of “acceptable” things to do on a daily basis, they have a sense of what they can and cannot do.

However, it is also important to veer away from the daily routine once in a while. Real life doesn’t run like clockwork, right? Therefore, the child has to be introduced to small changes in the routine, too, so that he/she will not freak out when you expose her to the unpredictability of the outside world.

So anyway, here’s the gist of my and Ninna’s routine:

At 9am, Ninna wakes up and takes breakfast. I also let her watch nick jr or playhouse disney in the morning. 11am is bath time, and then she can do pretty much what she likes until lunchtime (right now, since we recently got the Wii console, addict kami pareho, haha!). After lunch, which is at around 12-12:30, she helps me with housework (haha! child labor?). Then (after ko siya pagurin), she (and minsan me, too, hehe!) takes a nap until about 4 or 4:30. Then we relax a bit by watching the foodnetwork or hgtv together while having a snack, haha! She then helps me a little in the kitchen to prepare dinner. Then by 6pm, we go out of the house to bike or play at the playground (para lang makalabas ng bahay, haha!). Then we have dinner at 7-8pm, depending on what time hubby comes home. After dinner, it’s Ninna’s time with his Papa (and they can do whatever they want to do). Bedtime ceremonies are at 9 (punas, toothbrush, etc) and then bedtime is anywhere from 9:30-10:30, preceded by our evening prayers.

That’s it. Eversince Ninna turned 4, I have relaxed our routine considerably. From the time she was a baby, our routine was very specific and, admittedly, even a little rigid. Now, as long as she knows when to do the important stuff, she knows she can try to do new things on her own.

One of the things she learned from all of this, which I’m very happy about is, when she wants to do something that’s not “prescribed”, she would come to me and ask: “Mama, may/can I do this?”. Hopefully, when she’s older and someone tries to influence her to smoke or drink, she’ll come running to me to ask the same question. :D

MrsWorkingGirl :: May.07.2008 :: MommaStuffQs :: 2 Comments »