Working It

A long overdue question from Ris.  (Ten years in the making, hehe, sorry sis!)

It’s a pretty contentious question, no doubt. Ris asks…

Should I spank my child or not?

I grew up in a household where the belt and the chinelas were ever at the ready for every little infraction. Admittedly, my sibs and I were pretty pasaway and, from what I can remember, we eventually developed an immunity to it, too, haha!

Now that I have my own kid, I understand how important instilling a sense of discipline is. However, my answer to the question is a qualified: Yes, I will spank my child if needed.

Qualified because I believe that there are less violent approaches to disciplining a child – time-outs, withholding currency, etc – which I prefer to employ first. Besides, once you spank a child a few too many times, I believe that the child learns to overcome his/her fear of it, which then renders the punishment routinary and then eventually moot.

And like an evil violent cycle, some parents may “improve” the method for increased impact: now its the flipflop, tomorrow the belt, the next time its the golf club, and perhaps next time, heaven forbid, a taser, which totally blurs the line between discipline and child abuse. For me, that’s unacceptable. No amount of life insurance for kids would bring back a child that has succumbed to the extreme violence of corporal punishment.

Which is why I try to spank as sparingly as I could (in the four years of Ninna’s life, I think I was only able to give her a spanking twice, in the tooshie, ever!). It’s also why I think my Ninna is scared of even the just the word “palo” because she knows it does hurt and she hasn’t developed an immunity to it yet, hehe.

However, I draw the line for three very extreme things: intentional lying, willful disobedience, and blatant disrespect. And even then, there are levels as to when I would unleash “the wrath”, the last straw being if her actions should cause someone else to get hurt. I will personally teach her how hurtful her actions are by letting her feel the pain herself. Besides, no bastos action should be left unchecked, at least that’s what I believe.

So no, I will not spare the rod. However, God gave me the power of reason, the ability to know both my and my daughter’s limitations, which I know I as a mom should not use sparingly.

To the following moms, Maver, Weng, JMom, Dyes, Julie, and Pinky, will you spare the rod?

MrsWorkingGirl :: Jul.10.2008 :: MeMeMee :: 2 Comments »

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