Working It

Tagged [Question]

Em’s question:

What was the hardest part in your immigration that (almost) made you want to go back to the Philippines?

Definitely, it’s going out of my comfort zone.

First, even though I belong to a circus of a family back home, being oceans away from them was (and still is) emotionallly difficult. For the past twenty-seven years or so, my family was all I had - I’m used to them, and they’re used to me. Back then, despite everything that happened in my life, I could always come back home, rest my head on the same bed that I slept in since I was eight, eat the same timpla of pochero, or snack on the same macopa fruit that grew outside my bedroom window - and all that separated us was Balintawak and a toll booth. Not so, now. As high-tech as they are, there’s still no way YM or Skype can send and return our hugs.

Second, I love Pinoy-style pampering. As much as people here rave about “better quality of life”, the truth is you can live a simple, easy, and happy life in Pinas if you choose to. The food, the shopping, the cheesy telenovelas, the defensive drivers, the beaches, the customer service, the salons and spas… you pay forty-three times for them here. Too much, I tell you.

Third, education hardly pays. Went to UP, got a good job. Got my MBA, got an even greater job. Here? Will either need to study again, or accept a level of work that I had performed a good 10 years ago. I get it, worth is relative. And the US work force and I are fourth cousins (maybe fifth).

Fourth, tearing myself away from 30 years’ worth of friends. You spend your lifetime bonding, growing, learning, and having fun together and then suddenly, you’re no longer a part of their lives and they in yours. The birthday pic, wedding pic, the baptism pic, the karaoke pic - the ones of them, without me - says it all.

Fifth, my beautiful hands, the ones which never lifted a finger to do housework, are now fully employed. It’s not that we were very rich or anything back then - I was just… busy. Ok fine, tamad. :D Oh, to just lounge around and do nothing but give instructions to the househelp. Oh, to just leave our dirty clothes in the hamper and expect that by tomorrow all of these would already be folded and neatly tucked inside the aparador. Oh, to just leave on a whim expecting Ninna to be bathed, fed, and kept busy when I get back. Oh, the luxury that I could never have here, unless I win the lotto. My crash course on domestication was, honestly, enough to send me packing for Pinas back then. Still is, sometimes.

Last but not least, I’m Filipino. May I delude myself into thinking that my accent, skin color, culture, ethics, and third-world upbringing will make me a first-class citizen here? I hope so. Because seriously, there have been instances when I had wanted to pack my bags and leave - then realized that I’d rather not give America the satisfaction of driving us away. Besides, the fact that we’re here means America needs us Pinoys (whether they wish to admit it or not).

There’s my answer, Em. Of course, things are better now. In the years since we first stepped foot onto American soil, we’ve maximized and coped and learned a lot. And it’s not that I have a new comfort zone to speak of - I’m not replacing my old one, I merely expanded it. :)

~~~

Here’s my question, and I am tagging everyone who, at one point or another, believed in Santa Claus. :)

If you were to receive one and only one gift this Holiday season, what would it be and why?

MrsWorkingGirl :: Dec.19.2007 :: MeMeMee ::

« Tagged [Five Things] || Tagged [What’s Inside] »

10 Responses to “Tagged [Question]”

on 20 Dec 2007 at 4:42 am1somethingpurple

i like the way you said all the things you missed about pinas, i am looking for that day that I have expanded my comfort zone as well…

thanks for your thoughts mama mee!

mwah!

got something for you here: http://purpleism.livejournal.com/48021.html

hi em, sana nakatulong. alam ko naman na nag-aadjust ka pa sa mga panahon na ito di ba? pero yun nga, masasanay ka rin after a while. sana, tulad ko, mas makikila mong mabuti ang sarili mo - bilang asawa, nanay, at babae - dahil sa experience na ito. :) *muah* ~m
on 20 Dec 2007 at 5:46 am2sardonic nell

definitely, comfort zone! golly, not that i’m ungrateful before hah. but i now look at our “kasambahay” quite differently. i am so hands down to them, for all there hardwork and stressful days. i feel like yelling “give me back my nanay lita!” whenever i have gazillions of house chores to do. but on the brighter side, being away from our motherland taught us to clean up after ourselves and get our lovely hands in motion. heheheh! love this tag meeya ;)

hi nell, thank you! i wish i had ate shawie’s power, para pati ang aking yaya luring ay nadala ko rin dito sa amerika, haha! indeed, we have a better appreciation for our househelp now. di biro ang ginagawa nila ha! pero at least sila may sweldo, tayo… fullfillment lang. :D ~m
on 20 Dec 2007 at 8:30 am3abby

i think this mirrors most pinoys’ sentiments when they first set foot in Tate. Like what Arnel said, had we not been placed in a situation where we were left to fend for ourselves, we probably wouldn’t have realized the things we conveniently had before.

hi abby, migrating was a major paradigm shift for me. after a few months naalala ko, umiiyak talaga ako sa lungkot at sa pagod, hehe. pero ngayon, i couldn’t think of any other way or any other place where i could better serve my family. also, hubby, ninna, and i depend so much on each other so we’re closer as a family than we could ever hope to be. besides, naramdaman ko how being here molded my character in a different but positive manner that surprised everyone - including me. :D ~m
on 20 Dec 2007 at 3:04 pm4toni

Yun mga na-share mo, fears ko yan about migration. Pero kung kakayanin naman, ma-o-overcome right? Just like you did. :) You’re an inspiration, Mee!

——–

If you were to receive one and only one gift this Holiday season, what would it be and why?

Gusto ko po ng maraming pera. Hindi dahil sa mukha akong pera, pero dahil sa gusto kong makapagbayad ng credit card, ng loans, para fresh start na sa ‘08. Divah?

hi toni, naks naman, hehe thank you! kung meron man isang bagay that we pinoys are extremely good at, it’s at being resilient. sabi nga nila kahit saan mo itapon ang pinoy he/she will bloom and flourish. :) tignan mo kami, kung saan-saan na napadpad pero hanging in there pa rin. :) in my case, the transition was not as hard kasi as long as i was with the people i loved, “at home” ako wherever i am.

and thanks for answering the question, toni! :D i loved your answer! sino ba naman ang hindi may gusto ng maraming pera, haha! lalo na kami, alam mo naman dito sa amerika, puro utang kaya kailangan ko rin niyan. :D ~m
on 20 Dec 2007 at 3:05 pm5dphatgirl

HEAR! HEAR! With all its faults, iba pa rin ang Pilipinas. It’s home.

Haaay…fishballs sa kalsada, puto bumbong o bibingka all year round, sago’t gulaman, buko pandan, isaw, jeep, mrt, tricycle, siopao sa Chowking o Kowloon House o MaMonLuk…I could go on but I have to wipe my drool first… :)

hi ate K, wow nagutom naman ako sa roll call mo, haha! ~m
on 20 Dec 2007 at 11:31 pm6tin

ohhhh, been tagged by em, too! (utang muna, ems!) :)

i can’t agree more when you said, “Besides, the fact that we’re here means America needs us Pinoys (whether they wish to admit it or not).” Totoong-totoo ito.

Maligayong Pasko sa yo, kay Allan at Ninna! ((hugs))

hi tin, ang tagal na nitong tag na ito ngayon ko lang nagawa, hehe (love you em). anyway, thanks for agreeing with me. feel na feel ko talaga na in denial ang mga kano pagdating sa contribution ng mga immigrants sa bansa nila. if they could only understand kung anong social at economic impact ng foreign workers sa bansa nila, edi sana mas productive lahat ng tao. :) oh well. anyway, maligayang pasko din sa iyong pamilya mother! *muah* ~m
on 21 Dec 2007 at 1:17 am7Mickee

Other than the comfort zone, to me, the hardest part of migrating was the uncertainty. I came to the US for a better future but I wasn’t sure if that really what was in store for me.

If Santa would give me a gift, I wish it’ll be a plane ticket to the Philippines for three (for the husband, for me, and for Kail). It’ll be nice to have Christmas in PI. It has been a long time since I had that luxury and I sure would welcome it this Christmas! At least this year makakatipid pa si Santa kasi next year, 4 plane tickets na, hehehe!

P.S. Hindi ko naman na-miss ang househelp kasi wala naman kaming kasambahay in PI. My mom made sure we can do things on our own (I guess she knew in her heart I’m going to leave the nest someday) so she never hired one.

hi mickee, kami naman we didn’t feel too uncertain about our move (career-wise) kasi we knew that we were going to be here for hubby’s job, and that when our “tour of duty ends” babalik din kami ng pinas or would be moving on to someplace else. i understand, too, where you are coming from. pero after everything you’ve been through and all the sacrifices that you gave, tignan mo naman how blessed you are now. :) hayaan mo, bubulungan ko si santa to grant your wish (well, wish natin, kasi type rin namin makauwi for xmas, hehe!). as for your mom, you’re blessed to have that kind of upbringing. at least she was able to equip you with all the skills that you needed to live an independent life, di ba? :D merry christmas to you and your family! *muah* ~m
on 21 Dec 2007 at 3:46 am8kengkay

ako naman i hate the weather :( ang lamig, brrr — kakasira ng flawless ko kutis, wehehehe :D other than that, i am happy where i am.

ang wish ko naman sa pasko - peace on earth and good health!!!!

hi kengkay, ang hirap mag-adjust sa weather no? ako din nahirapan nung una. hindi yata meant tumira sa malamig na lugar ang katulad nating mga brownies. :) teka, sabi ko isang wish lang, madaya dalawa yan, hehe. pero sige na nga pagbibigyan ko na. peace and good health to you and your family this holiday season and for the coming year! *muah* ~m
on 21 Dec 2007 at 5:13 am9Weng

wow! nagmukhang nagtipid ako sa sagot sa tag na ito ni em ha! hee hee! other than dondi and abby, my greatest comfort is my family: my mom and my brother and his family. we are soooo close talaga! kaya i consider them my “comfort zone”. :D

i guess i psyched myself enough for US life kaya i adjusted quickly. i believe in the words “home is where the heart is”. and a big chunk of my heart will always be in Pinas until such time that we’re all together here in the US or we’ve saved way more than enough to be able to go back to what will forever be home to me. :)

hi weng, hindi ka naman nagtipid, ako lang yung madaldal, hehe. ako din naman i tried to psych myself sa buhay namin dito sa US pero syempre iba pa rin pag totoong buhay na. :) pero hayun nga, once i got the hang of it, ok na. i think, ganun naman lahat ng mga na-uproot, laging may adjustment period involved. at syempre depende din sa tao at sa situation nila, meron yung madali maka-adjust (like you) at meron din na nababaliw (tulad ko, haha!). basta, lahat naman ito blessings. at habang kasama ko ang mga taong pinakamamahal ko, lahat nakakaya. :) ~m
on 11 Jan 2008 at 12:56 pm10Leap of Faith!

Nicely said, Meeya. Somehow I also share the same sentiments from missing my family, friends and the comfortable life back home. Truly, God works in mysterious ways. Despite all the things I miss back home, I think our experience of living outside the Philippines has strengthened my character and made me more proud that I am a Filipino. I also realized how blessed I am and how much God loves me.

hi keith, amen! also, i think we never really realize how much we take for granted until we cross the fence where the grass is supposedly greener. :P i have always loved pinas (and being pinoy), but never more than when i left it. :) ~m