Working It

Because I asked for it…

Mel told me to list down 8 things that make a guy ideal to me. Well, in that case, I’d like The Guy (TG) to be:

1. PIOUS
I remember a bit of advice my lola gave me about finding my lifetime partner. She said to look for a guy who goes to church, especially one who sits near the altar. She said that a man who sits near God is always preferable to a guy who sits near a cerbeza in a cabaret. True enough, I grew up admiring guys who had a special relationship with God. The good ones I know have an inner strength that sets them apart from the rest of the boys. They are humble in the face of accomplishment, respectful towards every breathing organism, and ooze integrity in the face of adversity. Surely, a man who can find the time and energy to serve a Higher Being will definitely find the time to share his love and devotion to his fellowmen, i.e. his family, friends, or eventually his wife. And I’d like to be a wife to that kind of man.

2. ADVENTUROUS
TG must be willing to try anything once. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme like bungee-jumping or skydiving (but it would definitely be ok if he’d agree to it!), but simply having the courage to leave his comfort zone for a while in order to indulge my crazy ideas (and I definitely have many!) will give him extra pogi points.

Experience teaches us a lot of things. It helps us grow wiser. By doing things even just for the sake of adventure gives us the kind of experience that books can’t teach. Someday, as a parent, I’d like to be able to make informed decisions for our kids based on the fact that we’ve actually “been there and done that”. Not only would it make us “cool parents” but it also makes our moral ascendancy over our kids more credible. Besides, I don’t want to be stuck forever with a man who refuses to learn or try new things. That would make for a very boring relationship, don’t you think? Arthritic or not, I want TG to be climbing mountains with me for the rest of our lives.

3. AMBITIOUS
In a good way, of course. TG has to have a dream. A goal. He has to be someone who always strives to become better than he is. He will not be content to just earn money - he has to have fulfillment. He will not settle for mediocre - he has to be a trailblazer. Being able to reach his full potential is the best way to show how much he is thankful for the talents and skills he has been blessed with.

More importantly, although I want TG to never stop trying to be a better man, husband, and father, I also want TG to be the kind of guy who is ever grateful for his achievements and knows when to pause to savor his achievements. I’d want to be able to have a long life with TG and that won’t happen if he dies early from over-exhaustion, or if he’s committed to a mental institution for work-induced psychosis.

4. PRESENTABLE
I’ve been told that good hygiene is a form of good manners. That said, I’d like TG to have the best manners.

He doesn’t have to be Sam Milby pogi (although for the sake of my children’s genetic make-up I hope he’s close), as long as he dresses tastefully, is neat, smells good, and will not frighten my parents with his caveman-inspired getup, he’s ok by me. I also prefer that TG has a presentable home and workspace, as well. One can tell a lot from the way he organizes his stuff and picks up after himself. No one wants to marry a slob, right?

Presentability should transcend beyond his clothing to something that seeps through his entire being. For a guy to take the time and the effort to dress well or be neat for his beloved (or her family, friends, or puppy) shows a great deal of consideration on his part. That, to me, is what matters.

5. INTELLIGENT
I don’t mean MENSA-smart. I just prefer someone who is conversationally articulate, well-read, has a good sense of humor, has a long attention span, assertive, decisive, and street-smart. Basically, someone doesn’t consider Yeah and Duh as sentences.

6. ROMANTIC
Poetry, music, flowers, a back rub, the occasional candlelit dinner, HHWWPSSP, and a white stallion with which he rescues me from my (many crazy incidents of) distress. TG should be the kind of man who will never let the ugliness of reality intrude scurrilously on the magic of our relationship. We all need some romance in our lives if we are to live happily ever after.

7. A FEMINIST
Now, I don’t mean feminine or effeminate. Lord knows, I don’t want to be married to a guy who feels, acts, and thinks that he is prettier than me. That’s way too much competition in the relationship, if you ask me. Quite simply, I want to be the pretty one in the relationship.

By the term ‘Feminist’, I just mean a man who respects the role of a woman as an equal partner in a relationship. A wife is not a servant, a yaya, a prostitute, a punching bag, or a cash cow to be milked for all her worth. I’m sure the world has turned around since the Middle Ages. Hopefully, bagging a gender-sensitive guy in this day and age won’t be much of a problem. By all means, we all deserve a feminist man in our lives.

8. COMMITTED
‘Forever’ is a word that scares many a grown men. All I ask is that when a man gives his promise to love and honor, to serve and protect, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love me alone and only, until death do us part, he damn well better keep that promise. Yun lang. :D

Now lemme see how TG compares with AP (Ang Pinakasalan).

#1: Check! What can I say, I have a devout husband - the ultimate pogi-point. AP’s demeanor as a husband, father, friend, worker, and son says a lot about how he puts his belief into action. You should see how many people he has touched and inspired with his faith. Including me.

#2: Check! AP has travelled all around Europe alone, has worked in Africa, speaks four languages, engages in at least four different sports, once had long, shiny, one-length rocker hair, rode a scary roller coaster with me (once!), bathed a sweet tiny infant for two whole months, and bravely eats my cooking. If that’s not adventurous, I don’t know what is!

#3: Check! AP’s goal, when he was still single, was to make obscene amounts of money. Now, his realistically simple yet lofty goal is to keep our small family fed, clothed, sheltered, and loved beyond our wildest dreams. That’s ambitious enough for me.

#4: Check! AP is almost always more impeccably dressed than I am. For the record, Sam Milby has nothing on my hubby. Booyah! Oh, one more thing, I have also realized that in this relationship, I am the slob. Yikes!

#5: Check! He married me, didn’t he? So that means he’s the smartest guy in the world.

#6: Check! Example: The other day, I was browsing through Francis M’s multiply site. I came across some pics of him with his wife, Pia. So I told hubby: “wow, tignan mo sila o? parang sobrang mahal na mahal ni kiko si pia!”. Without missing a beat, hubby says: “para palang ako sa iyo”. Kilig!!! (Hindi na kailangan ng puting kabayo! Hehe!)

#7: Check, I guess. He respects me as his equal but at the same time, he treats me like a queen by insisting that he singularly brings home the paycheck for our family. Who am I to say no to that?

#8: Check! And something tells me we’ll live happily ever after.

Wow, believe me, I didn’t carry around this list back then and yet I seem to have ended up with my TG. Or maybe I’ve just molded my ideal man around the guy I ended up marrying. Either way, I have the best deal. I have just enumerated 8 more reasons why I love my husband.

I guess there’s a someone for all of us out there, it’s just a matter of accepting the fact that no one is perfect. Not even us.

So although our TG may not be the perfect one, I’m pretty sure he’s the right one.

MrsWorkingGirl :: Aug.02.2006 :: MeMeMee ::